3 Steps to Win the Duel Against The Ruthless Chocolate Cake

by Paramjit on July 29, 2009

chocolate cakeMary has been on a diet for over a week. She is missing her favourite Black Forest Chocolate Cake. Suddenly, she comes face to face with it. The cake has finally found her . In a moment of utter madness, Mary succumbs to the temptation and gobbles it up like it’s the last piece of food on earth. When its all over, Mary does not know what hit her. She is overcome with feelings of guilt and regret. She plunges into depression. The feelings of regret are so overwhelming that it totally overcomes her. Have you ever felt like this before. If you have, read on to find out why it happens and what you can do about it.

Temptations abound all over for people trying to lose weight. This is part of the challenge of trying to lose weight. Its like cheese cake and ice cream booby traps all over the place.

The Hot and Cold Systems

Humans, basically have two operating systems. These are the HOT SYSTEM and the COLD SYSTEM.

In summary, the HOT SYSTEM is your reptilian brain. This is the most primitive part of your brain. It governs the fight or flight response. Its called the reptilian brain because it operates in the similar manner as the brain of a reptilian. When faced with any danger, it takes over bodily control.

The COLD SYSTEM is the younger brain and was developed much later. It is our logical brain and is what separates man from beast. The COLD SYSTEM is not the default operating system and must be called upon for it to operate.

Let’s try and simplify this. Assume the HOT SYSTEM to be similar to the WINDOWS operating system on your computer. It is the default system and will overrule any other software. Assume the COLD SYSTEM to be similar to MS OFFICE. It needs to be called upon by double clicking on it, for it to run.

Hot System in Control in Moments of Weakness

The challenge with weight loss is that during a moment of weakness, its our HOT SYSTEM that is in control. Obviously, you crave a particular type of food because you have restrained yourself from it. Deprivation sends very strong signals to the brain that survival is at stake. This is because in primitive times, men were only deprived when there was famine. Primitive men did not do strange things such as diets.

After millions of years, the HOT SYSTEM started interpreting any form of food deprivation as a crisis caused by famine or food shortage. The moment primitive man found the deprived food, there was a tremendous urge to consume it. The HOT SYSTEM exists for our survival. Its the default operating system and takes control in times of crisis.

We have a primitive survival system in an ultra modern world. Food deprivation in current times is all self imposed and mostly due to dieting.

You Can Summon The Cold System

The wonderful thing about the COLD SYSTEM is that you can summon it. The COLD SYSTEM requires huge amount of oxygen to function and as such requires large quantities of blood. The meager fact of summoning it will cause your brain to transfer control from your HOT SYSTEM to your COLD SYSTEM. Its like double clicking the mouse to start MS OFFICE.

3 Steps to Summon the Cold System

How can you summon the COLD SYSTEM when faced with a deadly duel with the chocolate cake? Take the following 3 steps;

  1. Take deep breaths
  2. Count from 1 until 10
  3. Ask yourself if you really need to eat that chocolate cake.

This process will send tremendous amounts of blood to your COLD SYSTEM and you would have enough sense not to make any rash or emotional decision. Most of the time this will help unless the body is in massive deprivation. In massive deprivation of starvation, the body wants to survive more than anything else and all logic goes down the drain.

Losing weight is a challenge but if you better understand how your body reacts in moments of crisis, you can loose weight correctly. Correct weight loss is sustainable weight loss. Once and for all, do it right!

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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Louisa November 2, 2009 at 2:34 am

Tell a menstruating woman who’d sell her first born for that chocolate cake to count to ten and I expect she’d knock you out cold!

Cravings can last for much longer than counting to 10, sometimes they last for hours but the average is 20 minutes. This might work if you’ve programmed your brain through CBT or hypnotherapy but expecting this to work for the average person reading this article is ridiculous.

2 Paramjit Sidhu November 2, 2009 at 10:51 am

Thank you Louisa for your comments. Your feedback is highly appreciated. As you will notice that your valuable feedback is published uncensored although you doubted this on your site. We always value feedback from “respectable individuals” with valid points to debate.

A menstruating women certainly has her challenges with food but this can hardly be considered the average. Sometimes we tend to go to extremities or quote outliers to prove points or even to have more readers for a particular article. If we go to the other end of the spectrum, I could say that a fitness enthusiast would find no issue with self control and with the concept of counting to 10 as they have a completely different mindset. But again this is not the average as you have very rightfully pointed out.

Also the concept of the hot and cold system is has been around for a long time and you could get a lot of valuable information from http://thebrain.mcgill.ca/flash/d/d_05/d_05_cr/d_05_cr_her/d_05_cr_her.html or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reptilian_brain

You could also very much be enlightened by this very nice video on youtube that nicely explains about the reptilian brain which quotes “In the deep of the human brain there exists a very ancient layer called the Reptilian Brain (Reptilian complex), which controls the most instinctive behavior of the human being” at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXyp9p1UDPg. This is a must view for you such that you could take this message back to your readers.

As for emotional eating during menstruation, have you read the research pertaining to this. Apparently an exercise program helps tremendously. The challenge is that most women diet without exercise thus having backlashes when the hormones are imbalanced during menstruation. Also you will find the book “Spark” very enlightening and could address a lot of issues about hormonal imbalances in women, particularly pertaining to their monthly menstruation cycles. The author quotes scientific studies that have proven how cardio exercise have very effectively addressed hormonal imbalances especially during menstruation. Read an independent review of this book at http://blogcritics.org/books/article/book-review-spark-the-revolutionary-new/ or get it from Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Spark-Revolutionary-Science-Exercise-Brain/dp/0316113506 . This book is well worth the read.

i am not expert on hypnotherapy so I cannot comment on that although I am a huge fan of meditation and agree that “we are what we think the whole day”. As always, we thank you for your feedback and look forward to hearing from you in the future.

3 Louisa November 3, 2009 at 5:36 am

I hate to pull this argument out the bag but as a man, you will never experience food cravings thanks to menstruation so you have very little authority regarding this. Food cravings don’t just include women, men engage in emotional eating too and this IS the norm, why else do you think 2/3 of the population are overweight?

I don’t know who you think your readers are, but this is purporting to be a weight loss blog so I would expect your readers are mostly overweight and you are clearly insulting them by pretending resisting chocolate cake is as easy as breathing as counting and breathing! Seems to me like you’re churning out rubbish content to rank in google but that’s my professional opinion

The ‘hot and cold’ parts of the brain is completely irrelevant to your argument and I have no intention of relaying this to my readers as there is no way it can help them lose weight as food cravings are not rational so they must be addressed with more creative ways. My readers have mostly been horrified by this blog post. I had several DMs on twitter, emails from friends and colleagues all expressing disgust about your opinion. The word ‘ignorant’ crops up the most.

4 Paramjit Sidhu November 3, 2009 at 12:57 pm

I am sure neither you nor me have an absolute solution for weight loss and I don’t believe anyone really does. This article expresses what brain science says about the reptilian brain. Anyone choosing to ignore this does not make this untrue. Nothing out there works all the time and nowhere in the article does it say that this is the cure-all for everyone being overweight. If your readers have been disgusted or horrified, that is their freedom to express their opinions. Again I respect that. But this does not change the scientific fact about the reptilian brain. The count to 10 method is simply a means to get more blood supply to the cold system of the brain to become less emotional. Again it may work for some and for others not. Science is continuously finding new discoveries and some of it is being used to aid weight loss. This article covers what science has discovered about the possibility of gaining control of the emotional reptilian brain. I am definitely not an authority on menstruation. I just make reference to what scientific research says on the matter. That is why I highly recommended the book “Spark” which has summarized a lot of this research very eloquently. There will always be some people for whom no amount of counting will help.

By the way, in the future it would be prudent to debate on the topic at hand and not attack personally. Everyone has an opinion and it makes sense to trash things out. Getting emotional and calling names normally does not lead anywhere. Anyway,that is my opinion and that is why I have given you the due respect. Have a great day

5 Christy November 6, 2009 at 1:29 pm

I originally posted this comment in http://totalchunk.com/there-are-a-lot-of-idiots-out-there/. However, I doubt the comment wil be published, so, in all fairness to the writer of this article, here it is:

I have followed the above exchange over the last few days with interest. It seems to me that studies done to prove a point do have their merits. Studies usually show the averages and do not take into account the extremes on both ends. It is the same for the studies on the reptilian brain.
I have been on the wagon for weight loss for some time too.Although I do experience cravings, I find that I am able to overcome the cravings if I exercise diligently. When faced with the situation, it does help to stop and think of the consequence of our actions. It could be that people with no control over their cravings may have medical problems like insulin resistance or metabolic syndrome which need to be addressed first.
All in all, I think the rudeness above was unfair and unneccessary. It is possible for 2 adults/professionals to have a difference of opinion and not resort to labelling of “ignorant” or “idiotic” and then call it fair! I certainly would not expect it from a person with Post Graduate Philosophy Studies under her belt!

6 kksidh November 6, 2009 at 10:54 pm

Hi Paramjit,

I am shocked that there are such people as Louisa who pass such nasty comments on others based on their “own” lack of self control and lack of knowledge.

I personally have had a weight problem and have finally brought it under control based on tips and advice that I have obtained from your blog. I have had cravings for food but never to the extent of “selling her first born for that chocolate cake”….I have never heard such crap from any woman….Louisa, speak for yourself when u make such a comment and do not insult the other mothers out there. I only heard that mums nurture and luv their kids and definitely not sell their first, second or third for ANYTHING. I am shocked that such a comment comes from a person with a post graduate of philosophy studies….as you had so proudly announced in your blog.

If you can even suggest that, it merely shows that u have absolutely no control over yourself and your cravings. I have managed to lose 12kg’s and control my cravings, eat healthier with a lot of help from the information provided by paramjit in his blog. BTW, Louisa…i am a mother and in case ur wondering, menstruating too …I have had cravings but ALWAYS the choice is mine and only mine…should i give in or not. And since I have been exercising, I use the 10 second example, and it has worked beautifully for me as i luv cheesecakes.

BTW, Louisa, If you had driven 8 miles for a chocolate cake (which I think is absolutely ABSURD) and blamed it on cravings, it just shows ur lack of self control. You should have walked that 8 miles …i bet when U reached the store, you would have not wanted that cake that badly …..LOL

Paramjit, I dont think that you should waste your time entertaining such crap from people who have no idea what they are talking about and not serious about weight loss. I think you have been a true gentleman by explaining the facts to Louisa.

Have a nice weekend,

Cheers

7 sushil November 6, 2009 at 10:59 pm

I found myself very intrigued by the dispute over the article above. After reading the article on http://totalchunk.com/there-are-a-lot-of-idiots-out-there/ and the comments posted by Christy, I felt compelled to share my opinions as well.

Firstly I would like to emphasize that I am a woman and I have my menstruation cycles as well but I think it is an absolutely ridiculous statement that “any menstruating women will sell her first born just to satisfy a craving”. You have to be crazy and out of your mind to even think of it. I can’t understand what sort of menstruation cycles you go through….but are you NORMAL????????

I found the article to be very interesting and true. I would like to share my personal experience. Yes, I have cravings too sometimes, but if I just stop and think whether I really want it and how this will affect my weight loss, I can find 10 reasons to skip the craving. Of course, it may initially be difficult. It helps if you have a goal in mind and you are sure that you are going to attain by keeping to a good diet and exercise. Exercising is not easy. It takes a lot of discipline and effort. I would not want to waste my effort on a piece of cake and I have done it many times.

I have colleague who is more than 200 pounds. I asked her this same question on cravings, now that she is serious about losing weight. These were her exact words “ I will stop to think about whether I really need the cake and if it will actually satisfy my cravings compared to the pain I am going through to lose weight” ( and she didn’t have to drive 8 miles to get the cake, it was right in front of her)

Another point to note, I don’t only eat vegetables…..just in case Louisa thinks so.

Also, I think Louisa has not evolved from the reptilian brain and that is the reason her brain only works in the HOT….HOT….. HOT system which causes her to drive 8 miles for a cake. I think she should not be advising, to the contrary, she should be getting some help herself. How can someone who does not have self control, have a blog advising others on weight loss ?????????

It is a scientific point regarding the reptilian brain and unless you can counter it with any other proven studies, I think you should not even give your ridiculous comments as it is just a waste of time for those who are actually serious about weight loss.

8 debra mazda November 7, 2009 at 4:26 am

Hi guy,,I personally love your blogs and I would not let one women rattle you with this nonsense she wrote. As an exercise physiologist I do think that craving are real but to say that one would sell their first born is saying that we as women have no control or power of what we think. WRONG. First of all I do not recall reading that you were given this as weight loss advice. It is a article and take it for what it is. As a women who has lost 140 pounds many years ago and still has cravings I do believe that taking a deep breathe and waiting or counting to 10 can make you begin to think about wanting that cake. Louisa makes all women sound like we are barbarians going in for the kill and if we do not get the cake we will slaughter those who stop us. Keep sending the rest of us your great stuff as I personally love it. Maybe she needs to count to 10 and not be so nasty next time.

Sorry Louisa, but you sound mean and cruel and hopefully you are not.

debra mazda

9 Winnie November 7, 2009 at 4:30 am

Hi Paramjit-

Thank you for the amazing advice you have been sharing with an ex-overweight woman like me. Believe it or not I used to live to eat. All I used to ever think about is food. But since I have been following your advice thouroughly I have become a better and more motivated person when it comes to feud with food. As yourself, I truly believe in meditation and believe there is nothing a human can’t overcome. Bravo to you. Please do keep up the good work by posting good blogs and advice like you have been and not listen to the rubbish written by a so called “Post Graduate Philosophy Studies under her belt!”!!!

Also i have been following the debate above and would like to add that you have been a true gentleman in trying to patiently explain your points with true facts and research politely all the way, inspite of the very rude criticism made by Louisa.

I only respect you more.. Keep it up!!!

Hi Louisa-

For your kind information I used to be overweight but I am now slim and toned by following Paramjit’s blog and exercises all this time to make sure I look good. So how can you assume that most of the readers are overweight??? Yes this is a weight loss blog, therefore it would consist of many types of readers from overweight to slim. Slim readers follow this too so that we do not become overweight. FYI I have a ring of girl friends (slim and overweight) that read this blog to get advice on how to watch weight efficiently. None of them felt insulted, but even more motivated.

Believe me I have had cravings too and do not eat vegetables all my life!!! Yet I can control my cravings. I am a normal woman with who menstruates, and I don’t think I am gifted with anymore of potential will power that you are. It’s just that I am very determined, adamant and disciplined to look good that i can fight with my cravings!!! I am sure anyone with strong will power can do so!!

Secondly “Selling a first born for that chocolate cake”. This must be an example of a mentally disabled person as, no sane person would sell a first born for any sort of craving, therefore your example here is truly dramatic and is utter rubbish. Please find a better example!!!

Thirdly, as a food lover who practically used to think of food all the time, and also have my menstruation cycles, I have been thought(by Paramjit’s articles with full facts and research) to first and most importantly to love my body and to be able to control my cravings and not throw all junk food in my system which is like the engine of a human. I mean would you just shove any junk in the engine of your car???? From your blog it seems you do!!!!

It is really very sad for you to condemn another blogger’s writing, that too with full facts and research. It seems to me as if you are trying to make his article look bad to promote yours… How sad!!!!!

Anyway if you claim to be a Professional like you have mentioned…ACT LIKE ONE!!!! I sincerely dislike rude bloggers.. But what can one do, this is internet, therefore any Tom, Dick and Harry can post rubbish comments like you did!!!

10 Louisa November 7, 2009 at 6:06 am

I closed the comments on my blog as I did not expect the backlash I received for merely having an opinion. I thought that was the beauty of the internet was to have lively debate among people you would never normally meet.

My opinion still stands as you can use any scientific study to prove anything you want it to. The reptilian brain thing might well be true but people searching for weight loss tips online need more creative advice than counting. There could well be other posts on your blog that are useful, I’ve just not seen them.

To the poster who said about my “any menstruating women will sell her first born just to satisfy a craving” quote is clearly unfamiliar with hyperbole. It is a technique in writing of deliberate exaggeration to make a point. Of course I wouldn’t sell a child of mine for chocolate! I don’t even like chocolate that much. Fruity jelly sweets on the other hand… LOL!

Sushil couldn’t be more wrong. Because I have lost weight, I am in an excellent position to pass on not only my experience, but also the techniques I have learned. Not everything works for every person and you need to find a plan that suits YOU and if you’d bothered to read my other posts, you would have seen tips on how to make your Sunday roast dinner more dieter friendly, how you can make more diet-friendly alcohol choices and other useful things like ‘is detox dieting really worth it?’ I work incredibly hard to compile useful and creative advice to my readers and to say I am not serious is deeply insulting. Far more so that criticising someone for being banal.

I get a lot of private feedback and it is ALL positive. My audience is people who have tried EVERYTHING already which is why I get very angry with posts that use scientific studies to draw out unimaginative and irrelevant techniques. People are more complex than this and you are not giving credit to your reader’s intelligence. If simplistic counting is what it takes to help you lose weight then you never had a problem in the first place.

I am happy to admit that 4 years ago I drove that distance for a cake. I have had too much experience of anorexia and the dangers of too much self-control, I went the other way for a while but how did I regain it to become a healthy weight? I kept my mind busy in the day and cooked with friends at night. A support network will do far more in those in the early days of weight loss than counting.

11 cleo November 7, 2009 at 9:20 am

hi..
It was really irritating to read ur initial responses Louisa. I had lots to say but as i read all the other comments, i noticed the rest of em have said it all and at some point i couldn’t help laughing. Thanks guys.

To be honest, only in your last comment did you sound very mellowed n humble. You didn’t expect so many more intelligent people than you out there, did you? There is a way of arguing. Arguing is an art. But every word of urs sounded like a personal argument. Like u hv something against this weight loss blog. You sounded very angry n sensitive n u were getting mighty personal. Jealousy?

Anyway, i dont want to elaborate much. Im a follower of this blog too. Though i very much wanted to follow one of their weight loss progs, i couldn’t coz i know it requires a lot of discipline. I hv young kids at home who need constant attention. I needed to set my priority. Nevertheless, i do follow the many SIMPLE tips on this blog. The reason being, i got to be healthy, at least eat healthy n exercise everyday to be fit.. To look good, feel good. To love myself so that I can give more love to my loved ones. End of the day, there’s only one thing i believe… It’s all in the mind. If you wana do something, you will do it. Or else you live a life full of excuses n self pity.

The blog’s counting to ten was merely a tip for its readers. It will work on people wt strong will power. If it doesn’t then they have a problem about loving themselves. That’s another lesson to be learnt altogether.

12 ratna November 7, 2009 at 2:11 pm

What a lively debate over scientific studies and chocolate cake. Seems to be rather gendered as well. This may be worthwhile exploring, but with openness and respect to make it effective. Nice blog, Param!

13 kksidh November 8, 2009 at 12:49 pm

This is what I like about this blog…you publish ALL the feedback …may it be positive and negative.You do not close the blog just because someone posts an opinion which is not in your favour. That itself increases the credibility of your blog.Bravo.

I had posted my comments on Louisa’s blog but she didnt publish it http://totalchunk.com/there-are-a-lot-of-idiots-out-there and according to her she gets “a lot of private feedback and it is ALL positive. If that is true, Louisa why dont you post all our feedback on your ridiculous comments and see what your fellow ‘disgusted and horrified’ followers have to say. Or maybe, all this was just made up ????

To me ultimately, weight loss boils down to one thing ….ME!!! Thats it …how bad do i want it, how much i wanna loose, what kind of body do i want, what i do to get the results, ….all comes back to ME…I am in control of what I eat, when i eat …..even how far I drive to eat it!!!! Blaming it on cravings is just a way of saying …”I have no control of myself”….Yes Louisa….ITS THAT SIMPLE !!!!

I guess Louisa, when you churn out such rubbish comments, a backlash is expected. I had noticed that you promote Diet Pills for weight loss…Is that the kind of advice for weight loss that you give?…We all know that there is no “Magic Pill” …..So what false hopes are you giving ur readers ….and you can turn around and say that the above disgusts you ????? Dont you realise that you are insulting the intelligence of your readers by even suggesting that fix…Looks to me like “There really are lots of Idiots out there” I rest my case.

14 Christy November 9, 2009 at 12:27 am

wow… looks like a lot of people’s ire has been raised over the “DEBATE” above. The really good thing about people is that the really stick up for you if they feel you have been wronged. Chin up Paramjit! You have the support of your readers behind you.

15 Sushil November 9, 2009 at 8:54 am

Louisa,

I am interested in permanent weight loss and not some of the “QUICK FIXES “. I can say the same for most of the readers of this blog. This is my body and I want to do the best for it….and I feel the only way is to EXERCISE and maintain a HEALTHY DIET. We can’t run away from that, everything else will only be temporary…..and that is not my goal. I had a look at your blog and sorry to say, absolutely nothing in there interest me…….for someone who uses some pills to loose weight??????? I am not interested in a skinny figure; I want a beautiful “Hour-Glass figure” and I don’t think you will be able to advice on how to achieve that.

It is amazing that my comment was not posted on your blog as you so conveniently removed it. IF you only accept positive comments on your blog, I suggest you don’t step out of your own “Blog Bubble”.

Paramjit, I really enjoy your articles. Some of the tips given are so simple, yet when used correctly, it gives tremendous results. Keep up the good work.

16 Yana November 9, 2009 at 10:49 am

Hi Paramjit
Thank you for all your positive, informative and factual articles till date. Some of the articles have worked wonders for my weight loss.
I particularly like this one because it emphasizes on how it’s possible for us to use our mind for self control.
I suppose only some ignorant people who do not understand the very basic rule of how the mind control works can arrogantly come in here and condemn this research with absolutely NO FACTS.

Kudos to you on your professionalism in handling such ignorant people who ridicule the research of others by pretending to help but in reality only want to dictate to others what they believe with a closed mind.

Louisa, you should not have closed the comments on your blog, instead u should stop posting rubbish on other informative blogs. Simple rule, if you are not open to criticism, then in the future pls keep your criticizing opinions to your self. Or if you have an opinion, at least put it across in a more mature manner.
Sushil, I agree with your comment where people like Louisa should just stay in their little own blog bubble.
Paramjit, pls keep the research going :D

17 Paramjit Sidhu November 9, 2009 at 10:58 am

Dear Louisa, I believe the readers have spoken their mind. You finally revealed that you are speaking from the extreme end of someone being anorexic. As such your feedback is suiting anorexics and I empathize with you.. You could be out of touch with the average person looking to lose weight. It would had been good if you had allowed the debate to continue on your site. I have seen some complaints that comments have been closed. Seems a little unusual to close comments 3 days after posting the article. Why in particular close the comments for this article when your older articles posted 2 months ago still enable comments.

I urge you to open up the comments to allow the robust discussion to continue there. In the future, while I welcome professional debate and differences of opinion, I sincerely hope that you will conduct yourself with the dignity that would be befitting someone with “Postgraduate Studies” under her belt.

18 Louisa November 12, 2009 at 7:22 pm

Parmjit, you should really be thanking me for the interest I’ve inspired in your otherwise dull and uninspired post! I closed the comments because this is not the direction I wanted to take my blog. None of you put an arguement forward, you just attacked me for having an opinion. I mean, how DARE a woman in this day and age speak her mind? I didn’t think the post was a rant at all although I do admit to writing it very quickly after being incensed by the banality of this blog.

I want you to be focused on the interesting things I have to say such as try learning to drum as a form of exercise. Top drummers are better athletes than footballers.

How about I write a philosophical post about Strawson’s first and second order desires and how I can loosely relate that to weight loss?

19 Paramjit Sidhu November 13, 2009 at 11:16 am

Dear Louisa. I thought I will never hear from you again. I hope blog comments did not scare you too much. Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness in trying to inspire an otherwise dull post.
The readers have spoken their mind. If you stand by what you say, you should be able to defend your argument with the readers. Why don’t you open up the comments on your blog and let the discussion be continued there. The internet age is all about transparency. You should allow the voice of the readers to be heard. Its not fair to only publish the nice comments and suppress the others as you are doing.
Also a word of advise. If you are brave enough to face the readers on your site, please be polite and refrain from name calling. As you can see, the others are not as forgiving and diplomatic as I am. Hope you have the courage to face the people. All the best.

20 kksidh November 13, 2009 at 3:44 pm

and she came back with her nonsense AGAIN!! Stop Louisa ….u sound quite desperate and dont make any sense ! For someone who claims to know the ART of arguing, u seem out of topic and very ignorant !

Firstly, you have not inspired any interest, infact you are being BLASTED for your rubbish…

Secondly, there is no argument to put forward …you disagree with the 1 to 10 counting method and we disagree with you ….THATS IT ! Simply because we tried it and it works ie we are living proof !

Thirdly, you closed your blog to comments simply because you are afraid to face the reality of things.To me, it is ur comments that are banal!!! Open it and let the readers decide whose blog is ‘banal’, Louisa.

FINALLY, THIS IS ONE WOMEN TO ANOTHER …..have the guts to defend ur comments on your own blog and not on someone elses. Says who that a women cant voice her OPINION in this day and age ….???? Funny though, that coming from someone who refused to let the voice of other women be heard on her own blog.

21 Jasvin November 14, 2009 at 1:49 am

Hi Louisa,
I honestly believe that the first and foremost rule of having any sort of debate with anyone is to first get their name right. I notice you writing PARMJIT in all your comments but the authors name is PARAMJIT. It would be nice of you to get that right.
Beyond that, it is perfectly acceptable for any woman in this day and age to have an opinion. It would be polite though to have that opinion in a civilised manner. Writing anything when incensed usually does not come across very well. Your emotions can always be felt by the reader.
And as to your blog, its really not for us to say which topics you should focus on. I am sure a post about the connection between weight loss and Strawson’s first and second order desire’s will be appreciated by your readers.
Cheers!

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