1st Level of Love – I love me for myself
This is the selfish kind of love that all of us are born with. As babies, this is the only kind of love that all of us know. Babies only think of themselves. They want parents and everyone else to exist just to contribute to their lives. But this is a phase that we must all go through and grow out of. I am sure you know many who are still stuck in this phase even as adults!

2nd Level of Love – I love you for my sake
Bernard said that this basically means, if I want what is best for me, then I will love and take care of the one who can do more for me than I can do for myself. And apparently a lot of people reside in this plane of love. Let me give you an example. The husband of a woman, provides her very well. She has a comfortable live because of him. She takes care of him because he is the goose who lays the golden eggs. Without her husband, this woman would loose everything. She loves her husband for her sake. Or what about a child who loves her rich parent because he provides for her well and would not want to be left out of the estate when this parent passes away. This child too loves the parent for her sake!

3rd Level of Love – I love you for your sake
For a lot of people, this seems to be the highest form of love. A form of selflessness that very few can achieve. Imagine loving and serving another for their sake! And sadly, this is where most parents reside in their love for their children! They love and serve only their children selflessly without bothering to love and serve themselves. I know some who would religiously give their children vitamins & medicine when necessary and yet not return the favour upon themselves. The lives of these parents orbit around a single entity and this is the child. “I can’t exercise because it takes time away from my kids”, they say!

4th Level of Love – I love me for your sake
Take some time to digest this point. I love me for your sake. According to Bernhard, this is the highest form of love that anyone can achieve. I love and take care of myself so that you don’t have to! I love and take care of myself so that I can be around and take care of my kids! This is not being selfish! This is being very benevolent. Who is going to take care of a young family when the father gets a heart-attack? Does it not make sense to look after yourself, to take time out to exercise, to be careful of your diet, so that you will always be around to care and nurture for your kids?

Imagine a person who exercises with a bad conditioned pair of shoes because one does not want to spend money on himself. One rather spend it on the family or the children. So what happens to this person when he eventually gets knee problems. Isn’t the burden falling unfairly on the family and children to look after him?

What about individuals who look for quick gratification. Avoiding toiling for a future body which is healthy apart from looking good. What happens to the family and kids when this person suddenly gets afflicted with diabetes or worst still, dies of a heart attack. Was it smart to neglect one’s self so much!

The message here is not to be selfish, but to love yourself first and still be selfless!

So the next time a thought comes to your mind, telling you that you don’t want to exercise or take care of yourself because you don’t have time, that is the gravest injustice you can commit towards your loved ones!

I sometimes thought I was being selfish when I needed to take an hour out of the day for my exercises. Now I know how wrong I have been! If any of you have read “First Things First” by Stephen Covey, he stresses on the importance of setting time to sharpen the saw. This means taking time to renew one’self physically (exercise), spiritually, mentally (meditation/reading/etc.)

So please love yourselves and take care your selves for you kids and family’s sake!